Wassup, wassup! It's Riley.
Did the title of this make you think you'd immediately be talking to Jake? Well, sorry to fool you. It's true, you're gonna hear Jake's side of the story in this post, but I gotta at least say hi to my friends!
I hope you're all hanging in there. Today was officially day 27 of being at home and... yeesh. This quarantine shit is starting to feel normal, so the torture aspect of this is kind of fading. But damn, I'm bored.
So bored, in fact, that we've been actively trying to induce my labor so we can just have something new to do! Diapers? I'll take em. Bring it on, I'm ready for the sleep deprivation.
We're four days away from River entering the world.
How. Wild. Is. That.
We're still only dilated to a one, so she's not trying to make her appearance quickly by any means. But we're slowly making our way there.
Yesterday, I answered a bunch of questions on my Instagram and one that came up was how Jake reacted to the idea of raising a kid, especially a kid that isn't biologically his. I asked Jake if he'd share some thoughts on the topic and he so graciously obliged.
I want to end this post with his words, so I'll post my comments about what he wrote here:
To have someone see you so completely – while you're so vulnerable – and scoop you up into their arms with an all-encompassing heart is something I never thought I'd experience.
Jake keeps me sane and puts up with my antics. I'm not easy to love, but he loves so hard. I've never been loved so hard. I owe so much of my daily happiness to him and I'm forever grateful that he is mine. I could never ask for more from him, as he gives us his all every. single. day.
We're lucky to have him.
Okay, now the reason you're here reading. Here's Jake.
Stepping up to be a dad
Apparently, saying “yes” to parenting a child that’s not biologically yours is not a “normal” or easy thing to do.
I thought it was a given – choosing to be a partner to someone who’s expecting, I would obviously step up to parent the expected. But I was surprised to hear most people were unsure or curious why I’d so readily volunteered.
Just about everyone asked me things, like “how do you feel about this?” or “are you ready?”
Various ways of asking “are you scared?” I’m not scared. What is there to be so scared of?
I get to be with the person I’ve chosen to build a life with, for the rest of my life. It’s like being Team Captain and my first pick is a two-for-one! A double threat, a jack-of-all-trades. As the Team Captain, your goal is to pick the very best, and I think I have picked the very best. River will be no exception. Followed closely, of course, by a rambunctious pup and... well... some sort of marsupial/raccoon hybrid, disguised as a cat, that’s (somehow) fooled us all – allowing him to live a cushy life.
So when I was asked to give my side of this story for you guys, I had to really sit and reflect on the five whole seconds it took for me to make up my mind. Riley and I were at breakfast when she brought up the topic of being a parent, and if I was ready. These are the thoughts I had – I’ll order them sequentially:
“That’s weird, I thought this was obvious. Of course, I am ready.”
“Maybe I haven’t made it clear enough that I am ready and excited?”
“I should do a better job of making sure she knows I am ready, it can’t feel good to be unsure.”
And that’s truly it. It never once crossed my mind that I might not be ready, and I never faltered for a second.
People like to pretend that being “blood” means something. But the truth is, plenty of kids grow up with a single parent providing them with just as much love as a couple – if not more. And plenty of men and women have stepped up to parent a child and have done a much better job than their biological donor would have.
Blood means nothing.
Full stop. No debate.
When Riley and I started our life together, I accepted everything that came with it. She’s done the same for me – my late-night gaming, my intense (and sometimes frightening) bursts of energy, my angry and loud music, how sometimes I get water on the floor after getting out of the shower.
I know it’s not as exciting as a “life-changing moment” where I see a future with perfect clarity and a vision of me being a father and feeling at peace. But you choose who you love and you choose how you love. And I love my team.
I chose the very best to love and the truth is, I get to be with the person who matters most and we’re about to have a child. I can’t wait to meet her.
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