Disclaimer: This post is filled with a few photos, links to helpful resources or products (some are affiliate links), and gibberish. It's long but it was made with love. If you make it to the end, I salute you.
The other day I was talking to my boyfriend and I was saying I was feeling panicky because I felt like I haven’t prepared enough for this. "There's still so much to do. I've essentially wasted eight months of my pregnancy. We don’t have enough diapers."
Woah. Hold up. Rewind. He took a moment to hear me out, let me get out all the worries, and then reminded me that I’ve done SO much to prepare for River and I needed to remember that. He was right (per usual) and I decided to make a list of all of the things I’d done to prepare, to help me take a step back and actually see the work I’ve put into this whole thing.
So I wrote a list, observed, and holy shit, my dudes. I have spent the last eight months (and honestly still haven’t stopped) almost obsessively thinking about what to do prepare for River! I’ve done so so much.
A lot of y’all we’re getting busy when I was, so you’re pregnant too. I created the mother load list of things to consider while you‘re in the waiting phase of this new chapter. My situation could be different than yours, so you may not necessarily need to do all of this, but I started this whole thing out mostly alone and really just looking for answers.
I formatted this in a way that's almost guided along with my thought processes. From when I found out I was pregnant to now – this is the order of things I did. I broke each section down into subsections of:
1. What I was thinking
2. What I needed
3. What was my favorite thing
I also added a bunch of photos to share the journey with you. Let’s get into it!
Months 1 - 4
I was two months along before I found out I was pregnant and decided to do the damn thing. A lot of what's in this section is prep work, probably something you do sooner. But you get what you get, and you don't throw a fit (anyone else's parents say this to them).
What I was thinking:
Oh man, what was going on in my head... If I even try to explain it's... a lot. I was fairly depressed in the beginning, there was SO much emotion, but here's an entry from my journal at the time. Hopefully, it helps paint a picture of where I was:
I made this choice, this path is mine, but it's vast and unknowing. I know I’m not alone – I have loved one’s arms to buoy me up and keep my head above the rough and unforgiving waves. But everything is moving by me at a rate so fast, I cannot find my footing.
I’d always imagined sharing this with someone who loved me. I imagined a partner in this with me together, bonded. For someone to look at me and see this future – to choose this future. I want someone who loves me...
... I’m not strong enough, I’m losing myself. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am scared I made a choice that will isolate me, keeping me alone. I don’t know if I know how to love anymore. Everything is moving by me at a rate so fast, I simply cannot find my footing.
Yeeeaahhh... she was in a dark place. I wish I could hug her. But it's okay because we worked through those dark spaces and guess what, we're better for it. Onward and upward.
What I needed:
1. A doctor - I ended up using the OBGYN that I'd seen to take out my IUD a year earlier. I didn't know him very well, but I'd had a positive experience in the past and figured if I didn't mesh with him, I could find another.
My doctor: Doctor Spencer Pierson from Cottonwood OBGYN. I truly cannot recommend him enough. He's a wonderful guy and I got lucky, considering I did literally zero research.
2. A budget - I had no savings, no plans, and no obligations. I knew this needed to change so I set up a budget to help me start working towards something.
Tip: Start acting like you have the baby now and put the money you'll be putting towards diapers or daycare (or both) into savings, each paycheck. I pulled from these savings when I found something I needed for the baby and it was nice not having to take from my normal spending money.
3. Daycare and grants: I started thinking of this right away because I was alone and I knew I'd be a working mom – I wanted to know my options. Here are some helpful resources:
4. Hand-me-downs: I told people I was having a baby and offered to take any of their old baby items off their hands. It's a win-win scenario, I was helping them declutter and they were helping me prepare. Don't be afraid of gently used items, y'all. Obviously don't get used bottles or binkies but the healthy and sanitary items? Take what you can.
What was my favorite thing:
Right out the gate, I had acne, anxiety, misconceptions, and fear. A lot of those things were shitty but the light in that tunnel, were these items (these are affiliate links):
Azelaic Acid: A godsend. I didn't have acne growing up, I was fairly clear-skinned. So when I started getting these really, really intense breakouts along my jaw and cheeks. I. Freaked. Out. Like, mental breakdown freaked out. I did some research and found this acid is perfectly healthy to use during pregnancy. It truly, truly was a lifesaver for me.
It didn't take my acne away, but it drastically improved the severity of the breakouts.
Burts Bees Belly Lotion: I loved this lotion and I've used the entire jar on my boobs, belly, and the rest of my body.
Tip: You've heard of stretch marks, tiger scars, war prints, whatever you wanna call them. I was in a headspace where I didn't want to have these badges of armor and I thought lotion would do the trick. Turns out stretch marks are a genetic thing and while the lotion is nice and can help, it doesn't always prevent them. It doesn't hurt to be soft though!
Mom Brain podcast: Giiiiiirl, I'm a podcast listener and will be until the day I die. This is such a cute and fun podcast I found that has really helped me learn more about general mom things! The hosts are fun and the topics are interesting – I highly recommend.
Hot showers: I can't link to anything here but journaling and lots of warm showers, to help me unwind, were/are my go-to's. Take the time to listen to and make sure you're loving yourself so fiercely.
Months 5 - 7
What I was thinking:
The initial shock had worn off and we were IN. IT. The ball was rolling and it was go time. So all that really was on my mind was prep work and getting things ready.
Sleep had started to get really hard for me at this point, but luckily the exhaustion from my first trimester started to wear off. This is when my depression subsided a bit as well!
The 2nd trimester was pretty much way better than the 1st (and is still better than the 3rd).
So with more energy and a whole lot of anxiety, we entered months 5 - 6.
What I needed:
1. A clean house - I've had nesting fever since really the beginning, but this is when I started really diving in. I completely reorganized my storage room and started working out ways to make my house feel less... in my face.
2. A breast pump - Did you know you could qualify for a breast pump for free through your insurance? I didn't, but this was a great surprise! I used AeroFlow to get my breast pump.
TIP: I also used AeroFlow to get postpartum compression garments to help with recovery. My insurance covered this as well.
3. Nursery items - Most of River's nursery is from Ikea. We bought a dresser for her changing station, so we could use it as she grows as opposed to purchasing a changing station that would only be used as simply that. The drawer organizers are my favorite part, I'm not gonna lie. I love that I've organized the drawers by size! When she outgrows the clothing, I'll swap them and donate the rest.
4. Postpartum mama kit - I created a mama kit that I'll keep in the bathroom to help me with recovery. I think each mama is different, so include whatever you think will be helpful for you, but items I've gathered are:
(please note, these are affiliate links)
What was my favorite thing:
Taking Cara Babies sleep class - I've said it before and I'll say it again, I don't even know how to hold a baby. And I'm having a kid. So there's no fucking way I know how to soothe a crying baby or put them down to sleep.
The Taking Cara Babies newborn class helped me feel more prepared and I enjoyed it. It covers topics of soothing a crying baby, how to put them down to sleep, practicing safe sleep, swaddling, etc.
Jessica Hover - If you like YouTube and want videos about being a mama, that include 2 adorable kids, then you'll adore Jessica. She's incredible sweet and I've loved her content.
Smoothies and orange Julius' - I've looooooved fruits and smoothies pretty much the entire pregnancy. One of my favorite recipes (though not the healthiest) was my moms Orange Julius recipe she made when I was younger:
1 can frozen, orange juice concentrate
1 cup almond milk (or whatever kind of milk you like)
1/2 cup white sugar
Ice
Blender up good!! So tart, so yummy.
Sour patch kids - This needs no explanation, I just love them.
Month 8
This is where we're at now, folks. I'm 36 weeks along and we've got about 4 weeks left.
What I'm thinking:
This is all so surreal and I can't believe it's happening to fast. I've had my baby shower which was absolutely more than I could have imagined. I felt so loved and I thank everyone who sent me items or came to celebrate with me.
My baby shower set us up with all of the diapers and we'll need for sizes newborn - size 3. I shouldn't need to buy a single diaper until she's needing size 4. How amazing is that? I'm forever grateful.
Now in these final weeks, I'm beginning to experience all of the symptoms I so luckily skipped throughout the majority of my pregnancy.
I've started to have heartburn, experience swollen feet and hands, breakouts, and insomnia.
I've also decided to try to have River naturally, so I've begun hypnotherapy exercises to get me ready.
What I'm doing:
I set up this whole pregnancy planning thing to be prepared almost entirely by now. So at this point, I don't need anything. It's mostly just the final touches.
1. Hospital bag - I've packed my bag with general items I figured I will need. I really just Pinterested a few lists and chose what I think I'll need. This was also a good YouTube video that helped me.
2. Prenatal birthing class videos - I don't think women are given enough resources to know about birth. I think we should be more vocal about what to expect so we're not so scared when it comes down to it all. I watched these three videos about birth to help me learn and I recommend them fully.
3. Hypnobirthing - Because I'm doing this thang naturally, I was encouraged to look into hypnobirthing. Here are a few resources I've used to learn techniques:
Spotify affirmations (I listen to these as I go to sleep/when I'm in the shower/in the car)
4. Labor and delivery playlist - I've created a playlist of all of the songs that make me happy and will help me have an enjoyable labor experience. The idea is to play music to help me stay positive and happy, to give Baby River all the good vibes and energy.
What are my favorite things
Right now, my favorite things are just staying positive, keeping up with friends, and focusing on relaxing. It's my final weeks as a lady without a baby and I'm trying to soak it all in.
If you made it this far, you. are. a champ. Thank you for sticking with me. I hope this post helped you or inspired you to share with a friend, family member, or partner who is expecting. I know I didn't catch EVERYTHING, but I tried. I'll update the post if I think of anything else I did to prepare.
Happy birthing!
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